I went on and started dating guys because this is what girls are suppose to do, and I actually thought it was just a phase I went through because I was actually quite happy with dating guys at this time, although six months into the relationship I would flat out refuse to kiss him, let alone have sex with him and this would lead to a break-up of course.  

It wasn't until I met my husband, then boyfriend, (I was 19) that these feelings for the same sex returned again! We had our first threesome and that just blew my mind! All those feelings that I was harboring came back in an instant. I "thoroughly" enjoyed myself and we even kicked my husband out of the bed!!! *lol* It was like I was in another world and it was SO much different then anything I have ever experienced! Again, I was confused and it was my husband who stated that I was bisexual. I agreed with him, but didn't really act on it. Again, I went on with my life, he asked me to marry him because I found out I was pregnant with his child. We got married and I lived the family life. These feelings were still there though, but I didn't want to harm my marriage, so I ignored them. But the problems would arise with me not wanting to kiss or have sex with my husband. I was hurting him with this, but I couldn't help it. I didn't mean too, but I would get down right sick to my stomach when we planned to have sex. I know...that was awful of me! I feel terrible for doing this to my husband, but it was just like an automatic reaction. I pushed him away, have been mean to me, and have made him and myself miserable.

So here I am now. I much happier now that I can be who I want to be, finally! My husband and I have decided to separate, which is good because I can't give him what he needs. He sees who he wants and I see who I want. However, we are the best of friends. He's a great dad, and he has been very supportive in me wanting to separate. We still live together and find this suites us just fine for right now. We have kids to worry about, and we also have financial obligations to meet. I'm sure we will eventually go our separate ways, but not right now. Although my children do know about mommy being attracted to females I don't want to totally uproot their lives with this. I'm taking it slow and feel this is the best way to go.

Lesbian and Bisexual Resources

Lesbian Worlds
This site has some great articles to read. Kept me interested for a few hours and I return often.

PlanetOut
Very interesting site. One of the best resource web sites that I have found!

Lesbian.org
Has a pretty good list of other lesbian sites.

Girlfriends Magazine
Great magazine. Has very interesting articles.

Curve Magazine
Another great magazine to read!

Pridenet
Extensive list to other sites.

PFLAG (Parent, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)

Bisexual.org
Another great site with tons of information and links!